If you are a spiritual care practitioner who visits people on an incidental basis in contrast to a request for a visit or a scheduled appointment, the following quote from a design website might give us pause for thought. Still, I suspect you already intuitively know this if this is your ministry!
It only takes 3 seconds to form a first impression.
“You need to engage and connect with consumers quickly. If your first impression rubs people the wrong way, odds are slim you will have the chance to change their minds because it takes 20 encounters to repair a bad first impression.”
Now, the three seconds has been disputed, and others claim that it’s 7 seconds, but seminal research conducted at Princeton University (Willis and Todorov, 2006, 592 -598.) is more sobering; their findings concluded that a first impression is formed within a tenth of a second. And in the time following, people generally become more confirmed and differentiated in their first impression. The Princeton study measured students’ responses at .1 of a second, .5 of a second and one-second exposures to photographic images of people. Five experiments were conducted, each focusing on a different judgment from facial appearance: attractiveness, likeability, competence, trustworthiness, and aggressiveness. In contrast to attractiveness and liking, trustworthiness, competence, and aggressiveness are specific traits with clear behavioural manifestations. These traits are also important for both social and economic interactions.
Of particular interest in spiritual care, trustworthiness is critical for our consideration.
Willis and Todorov expected the highest correlation to be made with and without time restraint regarding attractiveness; however, trustworthiness judgments showed the highest correlation. The researchers concluded that this was not surprising as psychologists have linked trustworthiness to human survival, and the detection of trustworthiness may be a spontaneous, automatic process linked to activity in the amygdala, a subcortical brain structure implicated in detecting potentially dangerous stimuli. Conversely, work with patients with bilateral amygdala damage shows an impaired ability to discriminate between trustworthy and untrustworthy faces.
Yet, as spiritual care practitioners, this should not surprise us, as both psychologist, Carl Rogers and medical doctor, Paul Tournier demonstrated in the 1930s and 40s that in client-centred, and holistic patient care, a non-anxious presence that exhibited congruence, authenticity and a non-judgemental manner allowed a person to speak what was on their mind.
More recent work on Trauma-informed care has confirmed the work of Rogers and Tournier, and demonstrated that it is not enough to be a trustworthy and safe person; it is necessary to be able to engender a sense of trustworthiness and safety in the other person.
More recent work on Trauma-informed care has confirmed the work of Rogers and Tournier, and demonstrated that it is not enough to be a trustworthy and safe person; it is necessary to be able to engender a sense of trustworthiness and safety in the other person. In reading this, we might ask, what must I do? Who can possibly make a good impression in a .1 of a second? The answer, of course, is there is nothing we can do within a .1 of a second, but the good news is that if we change the question to, who must I be, then it is possible to be well prepared before the encounter and in the encounter to be present as a safe and trustworthy person who is settled in their own faith, safe with others and effective in their care.
How might we prepare for such a spiritual care encounter? Essentials include being well-centred and grounded in your own faith or beliefs and for your faith to be congruent and well-differentiated from the fleeting opinions of others. Secondly, it is important to be well-trained in safe and empowering skills. Third, a good grasp of working non-judgementally in the dynamic space between people’s belief systems and the changes they are experiencing.
On another layer, personal presentation matters – are you relaxed and comfortable in your own skin? Have you left your worries and concerns behind? Clothes and cosmetics matter. It has been observed that spiritual care practitioners in hospitals often wear cardigans or jumpers rather than coats or suit jackets and wear minimal makeup so the face can be seen (which, admittedly, has been much more difficult with surgical masks). The initial presentation of the spiritual care provider needs to promise hospitality and the possibility of being listened to.
It might be becoming apparent that this is not a ministry for everyone who longs to serve. There are unique circumstances around visiting people who are not expecting someone to visit concerning their spiritual care and decide if they will accept the offer within seconds. Not everyone is fleet of foot and thought, lots of people need more time to warm up to people, to get to know them, and use second chances to build deeper relationships, but in the fast-paced, impersonal world of hospitals, there are few second chances if we are unable to secure a connection with seconds.
Nevertheless, it is not that there are no second chances, it is possible to come back from a less-than-impressive first impression, but as mentioned above, other research has shown it may take twenty more instances to repair the poor first impression.
Pastoral Thinking 